Go read the new text. But do it on a CRT monitor if you have one. The update claims that LCD screens "compress the smile due to pixel response time," making the effect weaker. Whether that’s true or just a brilliant bit of retro-tech horror, I don’t want to test it.

This article dissects the history of the original pasta, analyzes the content of the "updated" version, and explores why, in an era of HD deepfakes, lo-fi digital horror still manages to get under our skin.

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